Several days ago, Susie and I were out clearing brush in our field (the one that's never been fully cleared in 20 years that we've lived here!) when we came upon a couple nodding trillium in full bloom. While not considered "rare", they are not something we see a lot of around here...especially after the loggers got done tearing things up all around our property. Looking at them, I had a mix of emotions ranging from gratitude for being allowed to find and see them to sadness in realizing this is yet one more thing we're being deprived of sharing with our grandchildren. It's now been since before Thanksgiving 2012 that we've seen them or had any word on how they are. I can only describe the pain at times as being like loosing a loved one long before their time. Facing this can cause one of two outcomes.....I can either give way to despair and hopelessness or I can allow it to drive me to my knees in prayer....most of the time I choose the latter. I know this blog is suppose to be about the crafts Susie and I practice but not having Joshua, Lily, and Liberty around to share these traditions and crafts with has been a giant wound. So....this post is going to be an open letter to them, knowing that the chances they will ever see it is slim, but maybe in just putting this into writing will help "strengthen" my resolve.
Dear Joshua, Lily, and Liberty;
It's been a very long time since Gramma and I have seen or talked to you. We pray for you all EVERY day and hope that you are well and have not forgotten us. Even though we have no idea where you are, how you're doing, what you're being told, or what you think about us not being around any more we want you to NEVER forget that we LOVE you and miss you! We send cards for your birthdays and holidays but have never heard back from you so we can only hope that they are getting to you. We still have Christmas presents from 2 years ago wrapped and sitting here.....a constant reminder that we are not part of your lives any longer. I want you all to be assured that none of this was our desire or our doing and that we are as innocent in all this as you three are. Many things remind us of you....the small hammer you use to play with, the silly songs we use to sing, the cartoons we use to watch, the walks down the road, the playing in the creek, hauling firewood, and eating cookies....all the things we use to do with you all. We still look at the pictures we took of you and wonder what you look like now. Joshua-How are you doing in school? What do you like to do? What do you want to be when you grow up? Lily-Have you been doing any knitting? (Yours is still here just the way you left it) Have you started school yet? Liberty-as the youngest, I'm not even sure you will remember us which makes the pain all the more hard to deal with. Do you remember us? How are you doing with your diabetes? What do you like to do?
We can only pray that someday you will be able to know the truth of the situation and realize that we did NOT leave you by choice. We were very happy being a part of your lives and not having you around has been very hard. To not be a part of your lives....to not having been there when you needed us...to not having been allowed to encourage and teach you the things you asked us to...to not be allowed to see you grow and mature....this has been a great wrong done to you three and to us. PLEASE just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and if you EVER need us, we are here and we will come....on that you can depend! We love you all and miss you more than you could ever know and we pray for Gods restoration of our relationship with you.
Love Grandpa Mike & Gramma Susie
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